Saturday, April 10, 2010

Day 100 and A Rocky Start/A Picturesque Ending

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"Omigod! 100 Days? Dub Tee Eff??"

Day 100

So it’s Day 100. Holy shit. I can’t believe I survived this long.

Looking back on the past one hundred days, I feel a mixture of pride and shame. Pride because I lasted so long; shame because a few days I resort to old stuff with just a few lines different. Pride because some scenes came together so well (Stalkers, Anonymous); shame because others seem so half assed (Desertion Desserts). I’m proud of a few of the continuing story lines I’ve started (The Perfect Gentleman, The Epic Adventures of Bagel Boy, Lipstick on a Lark), and I’m ashamed I haven’t actually finished any of them.

Some days are good, some days are bad. Some chronicle my current life, some past experiences, some wish for the future, and a few are just completely made up. Your project for the next one hundred days is to figure out which is which. I dare you.

Only 265 left to go!

Cheers

:)Katie

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I asked for requests. Melanie Linnemeier suggested that I write about her. Sierra recommended I write about Drag Queens.

This was the obvious combination.


A Rocky Start/A Picturesque End

Scene 1

The Nuart Theatre.

BOBBY, mid-20s, stands onstage, microphone in hand.

BOBBY
…And now I would like to point to this fucker. His name is Brian. Everyone say hello to the fucker.

AUDIENCE
Hello fucker!

BOBBY
Now, Brian has been attending these shows for too long. Way too long. It’s like he’s got nowhere else to go the few times he leaves his mother’s basement. But yeah, he’s been playing Brad for what, sixteen months now? You all know what he must practice in his mother’s basement. But guess what guys, this fuckers getting out of his mother’s basement! He just convinced his girlfriend Hannah to marry him. Yeah, yeah, you can clap at that. I don’t know why she’d want to. But there you have it: even nerdy fuckers like Brian can get girls. Speaking of which, even this nerdy fucker can get girls. My girlfriend Annie is here tonight. This is what, the fortieth straight weekend you’ve seen the show? Something crazy like that. She sees me do this every weekend and yet she still stays with me. You know, we met at this very theatre. Yup. What a pair of nerdy fuckers.


Scene 2

Line outside the Nuart Theatre. Rocky Horror nerds line the block. 

ANNIE stands in line with her friends DANA and GINA. She is somewhat dressed like a slut, her hair in pigtails.

ANNIE
Are you sure this looks okay?

DANA
You look fine.

ANNIE
My boobs are like, all out.

GINA
It’s Rocky.

ANNIE
I know, but—

DANA
Hush.

ANNIE
I wish Jeremy had come.

GINA
No you don’t.

ANNIE
But then he would’ve seen me dressed as a slut and maybe he’d think I was cute and finally ask me out.

DANA
(smacks her)
Bad Annie.

ANNIE
Ow.

DANA
Bad.

A MAN handing out glow sticks passes by them. He sticks one in Annie’s boobs.

ANNIE
Hey what the hell?

GINA
Chill Annie.

BOBBY turns around. He is dressed like Frankie.

BOBBY
You’re a virgin, aren’t you?

ANNIE
I… You… That is none of your business.

DANA
That she is.

ANNIE
Dana!

BOBBY
Where is your V?

ANNIE
Huh?

GINA
We haven’t done it yet.

DANA
Would you like to do the honors?

ANNIE
I don’t get it.

The BOY takes out a lipstick and starts drawing a “V” on her chest.

ANNIE
Oh my god.

BOBBY
There you go.

ANNIE
It’s a V.

BOBBY
Yup.

ANNIE
V for…?

BOBBY
It’s your first time at Rocky, yeah?

ANNIE
Yeah.

BOBBY
Virgin!

ANNIE
Oh.

GINA
We’re going to the bathroom.

DANA
Yup.

They exit.

BOBBY
You seem a bit, uncomfortable about all this.

ANNIE
This isn’t really my scene. It’s Gina and Dana’s. Theirs. I just thought it might be fun.

BOBBY
It’s real fun dude. I’ve been going for years.

ANNIE
I have yet to see the fun. No offense.

BOBBY
Dude, you’re not even in the doors.

ANNIE
I guess not.

BOBBY
You’re never going to have fun if you just sit there cowering. We won’t bite.

ANNIE
A few people look like they might.

BOBBY
No one will hurt you. I promise. I will beat them up myself.

ANNIE
Thanks.

BOBBY
But you have to let yourself loose a bit. Let your hair down.

ANNIE
But I like my pigtails.

He reaches over and unties them. He ruffles her hair.

BOBBY
Doesn’t that feel better?

ANNIE
I’m Annie.

BOBBY
I’m Bobby.


Scene 3

Continuation of Scene 1.

BOBBY
Annie baby, will you come up here?

ANNIE, fully embracing the Rocky culture, steps onstage.

AUDIENCE MEMBER
She can come anywhere she wants, as long as she cleans up after herself!

BOBBY
Thanks dude.

AUDIENCE MEMBER
No problem you nerdy fucker!

BOBBY gets down on one knee.

BOBBY
Annie.

ANNIE
Oh my god.

BOBBY
Will you make me the world’s happiest nerdy fucker?

ANNIE
Yes!

He puts a ring on her finger.

They kiss.

He sticks a glowstick in her boobs.

Slut. 

2 comments:

  1. Wonderful!
    I really enjoyed reading it.
    Brings back great memories.
    You're an artist!

    Thank you,
    Emily Kosciuk

    ReplyDelete
  2. oh man...i miss rocky horror so much.

    ReplyDelete