Friday, March 12, 2010

Sassy Gay Friend: Jocasta




Sassy Gay Friend: Jocasta

Cave. JOCASTA contemplates a noose.

OMNIPOTENT VOICE
Meet Jocasta, from Sophocles’ Oedipus Cycle. She is about to take her own life. This fate could have been avoided if she had a sassy gay friend.

SASSY GAY FRIEND pops up.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
What are you doing? What, what, what are you doing?

Sassy Gay Friend Theme.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
Excuse me Miss Jocastaway your own life, drop that noose from your hands.

JOCASTA
I sired four children with my patricidal son!

SASSY GAY FRIEND
So we kill ourselves? Kill ourselves? Honey, he’s too stupid to realize that he’s your son. Get over it.

JOCASTA
But I have sinned against the laws of nature and of man!

SASSY GAY FRIEND
You fulfilled a stupid prophecy that was way beyond any of your control. It’s like falling in love with the boy next door or getting a crush on your teacher. It’s completely natural.

JOCASTA
But I have angered the gods. They’ve brought a plague upon our lands!

SASSY GAY FRIEND
And who are these gods anyway, telling you incest is immoral. They’re all screwing their siblings anyway. So here’s what we’re going to do: We’re going to drop the noose, grab some cappuccinos, catch up on our Cougar Town, and we’re going to get over this. Okay? We’re going to Peeping Tom on Apollo while he’s bathing, and we’re going to get over this.

JOCASTA
Apollo is pretty tasty when he’s bathing.

SASSY GAY FRIEND
See? Come on you stupid bitch. She’s a stupid bitch (winks). 



I've watched these both a hundred times:
Thanks Michelle!

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